25 Nov

My annual “Gifts for Runners” blog post


With Black Friday (Are You Fucking Kidding Me Thursday) right around the corner, I thought I would post my annual Gifts for Runners entry to help you buy the perfect Christmas gift for the runner in your life.

I like to stay away from the traditional gifts like a Garmin, shorts, shirts, gloves, etc.  Instead, I think there are better gifts that will truly benefit your runner in the long run.  Besides, your runner is going to buy the shirts, shorts, and watches for himself so get them something they’d never buy!

  • Nipple BandAids: Wanna know what hurts?  This……
    bloody-nipples2Want to know how to solve this problem?  This…
    band_aid_clear_spot_bandages__52232Enough said!
  • Finish Line Beer:  Nothing says I love you like a beer at the finish line.  Hell, I’ll tell the 64 year old volunteer at the beer tent that I love her if she’s giving me beer!  I once gave an 85 year old man a handjob for a beer at the finish line…..whoops, was that TMI?

    I was thirsty!  Don’t judge.

  • X-Ray Vision Glasses:  The greatest invention wasn’t the lightbulb, or the computer, or harnessing electricity for mass consumption. The greatest invention ever was spandex tights.

    You’re running along and all you can think about is the pain that radiates from your hips to your quads, through the knees, and down to the bottom of your feet.  Nothing takes your mind off that pain like a beautiful person passing you wearing spandex tights.

    Want to know the second greatest invention?  X-Ray Vision Glasses!  Nothing says “perv” like wearing glasses that will see right through those tights.

  • Runner’s World Subscription:  Runner’s World is quite worthless.  They push horrible diet advice and most of the training articles are antiquated and serve only their advertisers.

    But every once in a while they publish and article that is truly useful.  Therefore, I will recommend a subscription to RW for one reason only.  This article:

    5 Steps to the Perfect Snot Rocket

  • Dunce Cap:  If your runner is one of those idiots who STOP at water stops during a race without getting out of the way, this is the present for her!

    The real way to handle this would be to take a baseball bat to her shins and beat the shit out of her because she’s too stupid to run with others around.  But that would land you in jail.  If she’s one of these idiots, she needs to wear a dunce cap so everyone understands they need to stay away from the dipshit that’s about to cause a 5 runner pileup at the water stop.

    And if you can get away with it, kick her!

24 Nov

I was a marathon spectator

Last week I wrote a post about how to be a good marathon spectator.  Obviously this was from a runner’s point of view.  After all, the name of this blog IS See Sean Run!

So yesterday I was the spectator at the Route 66 Marathon, a race I have a hate/hate relationship with….but that’s beside the point.

In my post, I outlined something to do and not to do to be a good spectator.  Signs are very important.  You have to walk a fine line between insulting the runner and making the sign hilarious.

Jen and I went back and forth on how insulting we truly needed to be.  In the end, we came up with a great sign we thought would garner lots of laughs but teeter on the line of tasteless!

Mark and I at mile 9.5 of the marathon

Mark and I at mile 9.5 of the marathon

I can’t tell you how many people smiled, laughed, and commented on my sign.  We got a LOT of “best sign on the course” comments and others who totally played along with the joke.

This was the first time I was a spectator in a major race and I had a blast.  We loaded up a thermos with hot apple cider spiked with pomegranate liqueur and served it to those friends who wanted to stop by for a drink.

There’s not much else to say.  We yelled and clapped and had a great time!


Our friend Kristina.  This was her first full.

Our friend Kristina. This was her first full.


Our friend Sherri.  This was her first full marathon.

Our friend Sherri. This was her first full marathon.

IMG_8425 FullSizeRender

Our friend Matt McBee running as "A Major Award!"  This is the second year he has run Tulsa in the costume and he was a hit!

Our friend Matt McBee running as “A Major Award!” This is the second year he has run Tulsa in the costume and he was a hit!



21 Nov

How to be a good marathon spectator


Run-BitchI’ve run a lot of races over the last two and a half years.  The distances range from short 5ks to marathons and half Ironmans.  Every single race has had spectators, either lined throughout the course or only waiting at the finish line.

Most spectators have family members or friends who are running the race and with the long races, like marathons, there are usually random citizens who live on or near the course and come out to just watch the spectacle.  Either way, I love seeing all the people lined throughout the course in a big race.  It makes me happy to see a random stranger cheering me on.

But honestly, sometimes the spectators can do things that just make you mad.  During the Tulsa Run in 2013, some guy was holding a sign telling us that we’re all going to hell unless we accept Jesus.  I wanted to punch him in the dick.  How dare you do something like that when people are running a race.  And fuck you for trying to tell me what you believe is right and what I believe is wrong.


At the OKC Memorial Marathon, a church on Grand Blvd placed permanent signs telling us the same thing.  If I would have had a match I would have burned them down!

The Route 66 Marathon in Tulsa in 2012 brought a different set of problems.  Over the last mile, which was all downhill, the cops handling traffic kept saying, “You’re almost there!”  Nothing pisses off a runner more than someone saying that.  I don’t know why!  Maybe because in pain and completely out of your mind and that’s just the last thing you want to hear.

The best spectators are the ones that have the most original signs or do something totally off the wall.  The people who set up bars on a course are the best, even though I’ve never stopped to have a drink.  I love that a spectator takes the time to do something crazy like that for us.

You're a dick!

You’re a dick!


  • Be original
  • Be creative
  • Do something shocking.  Trust me, it takes our mind off the pain.


  • Push an agenda on us (Religitards, I’m talking to you!)
  • Make up a stupid sign you found by Googling “funny race signs.”
  • Tell me I’m almost there unless it’s followed by a sign that says you suck at math!
  • Insult me with your sign.  Telling me I’m crazy for doing this is kind of mean. I busted my ass to train for this race while you’re sitting on the sideline being an asshole.  You might as well go ahead and buy that 0.0 sticker.  You’re a dick!

e2deca45f529c1ebf207dcd5c6c2ff07 brainwreck.com_43867_1398993731

This Sunday my wife and I will become spectators at the Route 66 Marathon in Tulsa, OK.  This will be the first time I spectate a major marathon and I’m really excited.  I am always a runner.  I never get to see the leaders.  I never get to see my friends.  I am looking forward to cheering on my buddies who worked so freakin’ hard to run this race.

I will offer them alcohol and some might even take it.  I have two signs that are completely original…..and offer some reference to an inside joke!  I will wear a stupid costume so my friends can easily see me!

And most of all, I will have a blast riding my bicycle around in the rain to support my friends as they run in misery.  They’ve trained; they’ve suffered.  The least I can do is cheer them on!

This is my favorite sign!

This is my favorite sign!

See you Sunday!

19 Nov

How NOT to train for a marathon

My first marathon: Route 66 in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

In about two and a half weeks I will run my fourth marathon in Baton Rouge.  Over the course of the last month, my wife has continuously harped on me about running a “long run.”

The truth is, I haven’t run anything over 14 miles this training season.  This is a very different approach from my first three marathons.

Marathon #1 was miserable and I found out a month later that I was in the wrong shoes!  No wonder my knees felt like Tony Soprano took a bat to them.

Marathon #2 brought a new set of problems.  Two weeks before the race I developed severe knots in my left calf from dehydration.  My sports chiropractor worked them out and taped the hell out of my leg.  Unfortunately, I compensated and my right leg was shredded by mile 19 or so.  I finished in a paltry 5:46.

Marathon #3 saw a two hour delay that brought on massive heat and a record number of DNFs, including me.

That pissed me off.  I was trained and on track for a 4:20 marathon when the elements destroyed me.  Granted, I should have been prepared, but I will know better next time.

For marathon #4  I decided to take on a new approach: run faster for shorter distances and blow off the long run.  The jury is still out on how this will work.  The good part is that the marathon is a two loop track around Baton Rouge.  I’ll run the first loop and stop for a break (food, electrolyte replacement, etc.) before heading out on my second loop.

I know, this is a messed up strategy, but at this point, I just want to finish under 5 hours and eat some great food.  Yep, I’m going to eat meat…..well, seafood!  Don’t judge.  How can you go to Louisiana and NOT eat those amazing oysters?


17 Nov

Here’s to new beginnings…


Ever have a fuck-up so badly you just have to start over?  Well, that’s what happened with my blog.

I’ll try to post some of the “past” entries just to I have a good record of them, but this is actually a new start for SeeSeanRun.com.

Don’t worry!  I will still offend most of you!


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